In days of yore — or the early 2000s, which was many eons ago in Internet time — people treated online dating like a shameful secret, a sign that someone had “failed” to find a partner through traditional means and was now desperate (…why was it so easy for your 90-year-old grandmother and her friends to find husbands at age 21 at the local dancehall?). But times have changed, technology has become an all-pervasive force in our lives, and online dating is all but totally destigmatized. So why is it that online dating can feel so deeply draining and personally defeating for the serious dater? For one, you’re forced to…